First world problems, I know, but missing that delivery today sent me over the edge, which is a sure sign I need to do some more work on my coping mechanisms.
If you’ve been with the podcast a while, then you’ll have been on the journey through therapy with me. There was the breakdown, the severe anxiety, the depression - all of which I felt I had roundly conquered, but recently, the edges of my recovery have started to fray and this is my sign to shift my focus and put some effort into building a more robust emotional toolkit.
Oh, and I’ve decided to ditch the weight loss challenge for a while. It seems daft to be aiming for the same goal while getting my head around the gym, which is making me feel mostly achy, swollen and hungry. Before I started using the weights room, I felt smaller, leaner, dare I say, tighter, but as I’ve pushed myself with machines, pulleys and cables in the gym, all I’m seeing and feeling is the pump from my workout and the swell of water retention. It was beginning to make me feel like I was failing, rather than taking a different route to achieve the same goal, so I think pausing on actively pursuing the weight loss is wise. For now…
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