As a 67 year old woman I was still teetering on that age but I have decided not to submit as… I am fine as I am! Ladies don’t be afraid of showing your age because older faces are a reflection of your memories and experiences and my step daughter who has been having “tweakments” since she was 21 looks like a strange blank canvas.
This is an interesting piece and I'm impressed you are questioning your choices even though you always assumed you would have something done. It is obvious to me that you work in the beauty industry as your baseline view of necessity is VERY different to mine.
"...how Botox in my neck could delay the need for a neck lift later on..." The need, as you put it, as though it is inevitable!!
I have friends who will have tweakments or more, I'm sure, as they are the ones who have always been more concerned about their looks. In fact, they are also the ones who have always been most conventionally attractive, so they mourn the loss more than other friends for whom what they look like has not been so significant. A shame in my opinion, as they are very definitely still beautiful, and I do not think any work they have done will actually make them feel any better about aging.
This is so interesting about mourning the loss of looks one feels one once had. I hadn't really thought about this, but that that has definitely made me think about the other factors involved in the decision making. Food for thought, for sure!
54 and 1/2 yr old finding herself pulling up her emerging jowls while cleaning teeth here! Hmmm... Will I never being able to go back/stop treatments for fear of sudden collapse? Can I afford it (over more fun/important ways to spend my £)? What message might it send my kid? Am I being sucked into an 'arms race' of youth with my friends? I think I'm too stingy and too grumpy-feminist to go for it. (But if I did I'd have a deep plane lower face and neck lift!!!) Great think-piece. 👌
God I am so with you on all of this. Have been trembling on the (knife) edge for the last five years. I think the major expense helps me think about it properly, plus I've rolled back on the tweakments gradually as I've realised less is more, been through a learning process there. I genuinely couldn't call it on whether I'll go there or not… I'll let you know.
This is me! I’m 44 and recently made, repeatedly rearranged and then finally cancelled an appointment with an aesthetician. I’ve had no tweakments yet, always said I would “when the time was right” and I feel that maybe that’s about now…but whenever I actually consider the process as a concrete event I start to feel sad and mournful about closing the door on a naturally aged face! I’ve decided to give it another six months to a year and think about it.
It really is a precipice, right? I know I'd benefit from it in some way but just don't feel the urgency just yet but I don't want to leave it too late. Such a dilemma.
I keep meaning to come back and say how much I enjoyed this, and that it sparked the most fascinating, important conversation with my 80 something, beautiful mother in law last weekend. And I love what you write about your beautiful mum. 💗
More than likely. I was even looking at my new highlights today thinking I’d love them to be bolder just because I’m used to them so would consider going lighter to see them more, even if that lighter shade isn’t as flattering as the one I have. Perception drift in action.
I really loved your piece Emma. I’m 46 and not had any aesthetics yet. I’m toying with the idea but you’re right it’s the longer term investment to consider. I have got some gorgeous friends that started their aesthetics journey years ago and definitely do not look like they used - not in a bad way just different, that was really interesting what you wrote about perception. I just subscribed 🖤
Thank you, Ruth! I really appreciate the subscription and love that this resonates with you too. I feel that any step into aesthetics will be a ‘baby’ one for me, something I can try on for size, if you will, maybe you’re the same?
As a 67 year old woman I was still teetering on that age but I have decided not to submit as… I am fine as I am! Ladies don’t be afraid of showing your age because older faces are a reflection of your memories and experiences and my step daughter who has been having “tweakments” since she was 21 looks like a strange blank canvas.
Love this, Annie. Though sometimes my face is more a reflection of Newton's theory of gravity.
I bet you are characterful and beautiful. I just wish we could accept that we are enough as we are.
I look after myself and care how I look but I want to look myself and to spend my pension on experiences not on procedures.
Have a good day. X
I love this, Annie! Such a lovely perspective.
Thank you. We need to reclaim our wrinkles 😂
Spend the money on travel/holidays and experiences instead!
Can totally see the reasoning here! My friend’s dad always says ‘you can’t buy memories’.
Great comment!
This is an interesting piece and I'm impressed you are questioning your choices even though you always assumed you would have something done. It is obvious to me that you work in the beauty industry as your baseline view of necessity is VERY different to mine.
"...how Botox in my neck could delay the need for a neck lift later on..." The need, as you put it, as though it is inevitable!!
I have friends who will have tweakments or more, I'm sure, as they are the ones who have always been more concerned about their looks. In fact, they are also the ones who have always been most conventionally attractive, so they mourn the loss more than other friends for whom what they look like has not been so significant. A shame in my opinion, as they are very definitely still beautiful, and I do not think any work they have done will actually make them feel any better about aging.
I hope you come to the right decision for you!
This is so interesting about mourning the loss of looks one feels one once had. I hadn't really thought about this, but that that has definitely made me think about the other factors involved in the decision making. Food for thought, for sure!
54 and 1/2 yr old finding herself pulling up her emerging jowls while cleaning teeth here! Hmmm... Will I never being able to go back/stop treatments for fear of sudden collapse? Can I afford it (over more fun/important ways to spend my £)? What message might it send my kid? Am I being sucked into an 'arms race' of youth with my friends? I think I'm too stingy and too grumpy-feminist to go for it. (But if I did I'd have a deep plane lower face and neck lift!!!) Great think-piece. 👌
God I am so with you on all of this. Have been trembling on the (knife) edge for the last five years. I think the major expense helps me think about it properly, plus I've rolled back on the tweakments gradually as I've realised less is more, been through a learning process there. I genuinely couldn't call it on whether I'll go there or not… I'll let you know.
This is me! I’m 44 and recently made, repeatedly rearranged and then finally cancelled an appointment with an aesthetician. I’ve had no tweakments yet, always said I would “when the time was right” and I feel that maybe that’s about now…but whenever I actually consider the process as a concrete event I start to feel sad and mournful about closing the door on a naturally aged face! I’ve decided to give it another six months to a year and think about it.
It really is a precipice, right? I know I'd benefit from it in some way but just don't feel the urgency just yet but I don't want to leave it too late. Such a dilemma.
I keep meaning to come back and say how much I enjoyed this, and that it sparked the most fascinating, important conversation with my 80 something, beautiful mother in law last weekend. And I love what you write about your beautiful mum. 💗
Thank you so much, Jenni! I really appreciate this and I'm thrilled to hear it led to a meaningful conversation. Thank you so much for reading!
💗 (So enjoying your Substack!) XO
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! You too!
XXOOO
Perception drift happens FAST. Constantly viewing (measuring?) oneself through the phone camera lens seems to make it even faster
More than likely. I was even looking at my new highlights today thinking I’d love them to be bolder just because I’m used to them so would consider going lighter to see them more, even if that lighter shade isn’t as flattering as the one I have. Perception drift in action.
I really loved your piece Emma. I’m 46 and not had any aesthetics yet. I’m toying with the idea but you’re right it’s the longer term investment to consider. I have got some gorgeous friends that started their aesthetics journey years ago and definitely do not look like they used - not in a bad way just different, that was really interesting what you wrote about perception. I just subscribed 🖤
Thank you, Ruth! I really appreciate the subscription and love that this resonates with you too. I feel that any step into aesthetics will be a ‘baby’ one for me, something I can try on for size, if you will, maybe you’re the same?
Yes definitely a baby step to try on for size!